Flowers Fade
by DolbyDigital
Summary: Years later, if you asked him, he'd never have been able to tell you what had pulled them a part. Not really. There had been a war going on, yes, but how could they have let that come in between them?


**A/N** – Written for Jas (DelusionalDoll) Happy (Belated) Birthday!

Also, there's a brief How I Met Your Mother Reference. It's pretty obvious, so I thought I should mention it.

* * *

 _Flowers fade, the fruit of summer fade_

 _They have their seasons, so do we_

 _But please promise that sometimes_

 _You will think of me!_

Think of Me – Phantom of the Opera

* * *

Years later, if you asked him, he'd never have been able to tell you what had pulled them a part. Not really. There had been a war going on, yes, but how could they have let that come in between them?

Fresh out of Hogwarts; their entire lives ahead of them. How could it have gone so wrong?

* * *

They were lying in the shade of a large tree – all five of them – soaking up the warmth of the summers day; one of their last at Hogwarts.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius rolled over onto his stomach and faced the boy next to him. "Move in with me?"

"What?" was Remus' sleepy reply.

"C'mon! Why not?"

" _Why not_ isn't exactly a reason to make such a serious decision." His face was blank, but he couldn't keep the smile from his voice.

"How about, I love you?" Sirius edged closer to whisper in his ear.

" _Aww!_ You guys!" James yelled from the other side of Remus, wide grin splitting his face.

"Shut up, James!" Lily slapped the back of his head. "I think they're really sweet."

"Yeah, _adorable,_ guys," Peter grinned.

"We like to think so," Sirius smirked and planted a loud kiss on Remus' mouth. Moony's entire face turned a dark shade of maroon all the way down to his collar.

"Sirius," he hissed, eyes darting to the other students who'd also decided to make the most of the sunshine while it lasted.

"No one cares, Moony," Sirius whispered into the shell of his ear.

"I care a little," James said.

"You think this is bad?" Peter countered. "Try sleeping in the bed next to them. They are _not_ quiet."

"Oh, _Merlin,_ " Remus moaned, burying his face in his hands.

"I caught the live version last night; I don't need the replay, Moony."

"Oh, _that is it!_ I'm changing my name, moving to France and making new friends," Remus declared loudly.

"Why France?" Lily asked.

"I speak the language."

"Why not somewhere that speaks English?"

"Too obvious."

"Can I come?" Sirius asked overly cheerfully.

"No."

"But Moony," he pouted.

"You're the reason I'm going."

"You'd miss me. Because you _lu-urve_ me," Sirius extended the word far beyond what was necessary.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"You love me?" Sirius asked, genuinely shocked.

"Well, yeah," Remus responded as if it were completely obvious.

"C'mon, Padfoot, where've you been?" James interjected.

"Honestly, Sirius, you- wait... _Padfoot_?"

"Oh..."

"Erm..."

"Err..."

"..."

* * *

Sirius stood in the middle of the living room of their new apartment; boxes were stacked up against the wall, but he honestly had no idea where to start.

"Sirius, don't just stand there! I could use some help unpacking," Remus called from the kitchen.

"Oh, okay," Sirius murmured, mostly to himself, picking up a box labelled 'misc' in Remus' small print.

"Kitchen stuff would be more helpful," Remus leant through the doorway as he spoke.

"Right, yeah." Sirius dropped the box with a loud _crash_. Remus closed his eyes, breathing deeply for a few seconds.

"Why don't you make some tea?" he spoke with a falsely calm tone. Sirius looked down at the battered box.

"Good call, mate," he agreed, nodding.

He walked past Remus, who was quite obviously trying to calm down, and joined Lily in the kitchen.

"What happened?" The sink was filled with suds and she was wearing a pair of hideously bright yellow rubber gloves that were several sizes too big.

"I broke something. Got demoted to tea duty," Sirius replied looking mildly dejected. "You can do that with magic, y'know."

"Yeah, I know. It's habit, I guess." Sirius filled the kettle with water and flicked the switch down. "You can do that with magic, too."

"Takes longer this way," Sirius responded with a shrug. "Don't want to wind up having to weed the garden or something."

"Great idea, Padfoot!" Remus yelled from the other room.

"It won't be that bad," Lily laughed at Sirius' groan. "He probably won't be able to hear you from the garden. And it's a nice day out."

"You want to help?" Sirius asked hopefully, grabbing some clean mugs from the counter.

"Not a chance."

"But Lils," Sirius whined, "he's practically a slave driver!"

"I'm not that bad," Remus responded cheerfully, placing a kiss to Sirius' cheek; Sirius dropped the mug he was holding. "Stop breaking my stuff."

* * *

"Peter, hey! We haven't seen you in ages!" Sirius yelled over the combined voices of the other guests as he wound his way through the crowd.

"Oh, yeah," Peter smiled sadly. "My mum's been ill."

"Yeah, I heard," Remus joined the conversation. "How's she doing?"

"A little better, thanks. I'll be sure to tell her you asked."

"Oh, that's good-"

"Guys," James yelled, throwing his arms around Peter and Sirius' shoulders and leaning heavily on them, new ring reflecting the last of the sunlight brightly. "Why so serious?" he giggled at his own joke.

"Lily's not going to be happy when she sees how drunk you are," Remus said.

"I'm not drunk!" James insisted. "Just _really_ hungry."

"James!" Lily appeared from seemingly out of nowhere. "There's an opening at-"

"Lily, dear! James!" a rather large woman called out, waving her arms to get her attention. "I've been trying to catch you all night!" James and Lily both threw a longing glance towards the buffet table, before turning to greet the well-wisher.

"We got you, mate," Sirius whispered to James, patting him on the shoulder and nodding to Remus and Peter.

"Oh, my God! Is that-" Peter began loudly.

"I think it is!" Remus answered; both were stretching in an effort to see over the other guests' heads.

"There's no way, guys. What would _he_ be doing here?"

"It is, Sirius! Look!" Peter pointed.

"He probably just looks like him."

"No, that's really him!"

"I really doubt- Oh. Oh! That's him!"

"What? Who?" As soon as her attention was turned, Lily and James darted 'round her.

"Frank Longbottom," Remus answered a little too quickly.

"Is he famous?"

"Oh, very," Sirius nodded. They could see the newly married couple had finally managed to reach the food; Lily held up a single cocktail sausage proudly, already shoving three very small sandwiches into her mouth.

"Hey guys," Frank approached them several hours later. "Do you know why people keep asking me for my autograph?"

* * *

"Sirius, will you sit down," Peter snapped yet again.

"How are you so calm?" Sirius turned to face him with a somewhat manic expression on his face. "We're having a baby!"

"No," Peter countered patiently, " _Prongs_ is having a baby."

"But we're Godparents! What if something happens to them?"

"Nothing's going to happen to them, Sirius."

"And you honestly think that idiot's ready to be a dad?" Sirius continued as if Peter hadn't spoken.

"He'll be _fine_ , Sirius. Stop worrying."

"And Remus' not even _here_ -"

"Yeah, where is he?" Peter interrupted, obviously thankful for the change in topic.

"Oh, he had some mission for the Order. Very secret, really," Sirius replied bitterly.

* * *

Sirius watched as Remus rocked Harry slowly, careful not to wake him.

"Have you seen Peter at all recently?" Remus whispered, mindful of the sleeping baby in his arms.

"Oh, his mum's taken a turn for the worse," Sirius frowned slightly as he spoke.

"Really? How come I didn't hear about that?"

"I guess you were on one of your _missions_ when-"

" _Sirius,"_ Remus hissed.

"Yeah, okay," Sirius relented with a sigh.

The silence stretched on, the tension in the room rising. Harry let out a quiet noise in his sleep, drawing both of their attention.

"I want one," Remus whispered, a look of longing crossing his features.

"Well," Sirius cast a glance around the empty room.

" _No._ "

* * *

"I have to go in a couple hours," Remus whispered into his hair.

"What? Seriously?" Sirius sat up, pushing Remus away slightly so he could see his face properly. "That's how much advance notice they're giving you now?"

"Well," and was it just him, or did Remus look a little guilty? "I found out a couple weeks ago."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Sirius pushed him away completely now, absolutely furious.

"You know I'm not supposed to even be telling you this."

"So you're only telling me because you think I might notice you're missing for a couple days?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"It's actually more like... a couple _weeks_." Remus at least looked a little apologetic. It wasn't enough, though.

" _Weeks?_ You're going to be gone a couple _weeks_ and you only bothered to tell me a few _hours_ before you leave!?" Sirius yelled, jumping from the bed and towering above Remus, heedless of his own nudity.

"Like you give me a lot of notice when the Order sends you away on missions!"

"I give you plenty of notice! Definitely more than a few hours!"

"Look, Sirius, I don't want to argue with you before-"

"No! Dick move, Moony."

* * *

Lying alone in their bed, with absolutely no idea when – or even _if_ – Remus would return, Sirius deeply regretted his decision.

* * *

The door opened slowly and Remus entered their apartment hesitantly, looking more tired than Sirius had ever seen him.

" _Remus_ ," Sirius instantly dropped everything and ran to him, throwing his arms around his thin shoulders and clinging on tightly.

"Hey Sirius," Remus smiled weakly, dropping his bag and wrapping his arms around his waist.

* * *

"But you just got back!" Sirius pushed Remus away.

"Three weeks ago," Remus tried to justify. "Look, it's to do with the werewolves-"

"Yeah, I figured as much," Sirius scoffed. "I'm not stupid. I know you always leave around the full moon."

"Dumbledore wants me to see if they'll join us," Remus continued, ignoring Sirius.

"What good is that going to do? They're-" Sirius stopped himself just a fraction of a second too late.

" _Werewolves?_ "

"Look, I didn't mean-"

"I know _exactly_ what you meant, Sirius! And I'm _going_."

"How long-" Sirius replied weakly.

"A little over a month," Remus said without any emotion.

"A _month_? Remus, do you have any idea how dangerous-"

" _Everything's_ dangerous, Sirius!"

* * *

Remus returned in the middle of the night, unintentionally waking Sirius as he fell into bed with him.

Sirius feigned sleep.

* * *

"I can't keep doing this," Sirius whispered over breakfast the next morning.

"What?" Remus didn't even look up from the paper.

"Loving you is just killing me," he still spoke at the same quiet volume.

"What?" Remus repeated, but Sirius definitely had his attention now.

"I can't do this anymore."

"So, what? You want me to leave?" And it _hurt_ how easily Remus accepted this.

"No. I'll go."

* * *

Sirius lay on the mouldy mattress in his bare cell staring blankly at the cracked ceiling, left only with this deep sense of nostalgia and his regrets.


End file.
